It's time for another episode of Bizarre Search Terms!

Variations on hot pictures of landon donovan are incredibly popular in the past few weeks. There must be some new photo spread on him that people are looking for. I did my public service last time, but if you people want more, you're gonna have to find it yourselves. The last thing I need is for Google to consider me any more of an authority on the subject.

My personal favorite has to be "help me cocteau twins, you're my only hope", which I am pretty sure is a secret Google message sent to me by The Angry Robot, or maybe Karin from Silk Velvet Asylum, since I sent them both secret Googlegrams a while back.

It's great fun, if you want to get into the act. Just devise a message that will hit the recipient's site on Google, and then click through. Voila! A secret message in the referral log.

Someone searching on AOL really wants to find neighborhood pedophiles or else pedophiles in my own neighborhood. My site is very sticky on the term "neighborhood", so even a single passing reference to pedophiles gets me pretty high in the list. Oh, well.

For discussing the anime film Revolutionary Girl Utena, I earned a hit on fighting schoolgirls. No surprise there.

I'm kind of worried about what the person who searched for naked librarian Jessa might really be looking for. Has the Bookslut got a stalker?

And the grand prize winner for bewildering search in this edition goes to:

comic strips with baby butts

I'm not sure whether to laugh or be somewhat afraid, so I'm chuckling apprehensively.

The dictionary definition of "Internet" really ought to be "something for everyone."